I Want To Marry A Man…

The greatest want of the world is the want of men—men who will not be bought or sold, men who in their inmost souls are true and honest, men who do not fear to call sin by its right name, men whose conscience is as true to duty as the needle to the pole, men who will stand for the right though the heavens fall.

The above quote was written by Ellen G. White many years ago, but those words have never rang more true. The greatest want of the world is the want of God-fearing, strong men who live consecrated lives and walk with Him daily. However, men like this seem to be really few and far between, even though many are professed Christians.

As a single Christian young woman, I have come to realize that I have many standards for the man that I marry. These standards are not so much focused on his job, height or complexion, but more so focused on how he loves God. Any man can claim to be a Christian because he tweets Bible verses from his YouShare app, attends church service every week and listens to worship music, but that doesn’t mean that a man is walking with God daily.

What worries me about this, is that these men will one day grow to be husbands. They will be in charge of the spiritual growth and well-being of a wife and children and should be able to minister to that family. They should also understand that upon becoming a husband, they are taking on the responsibility of one day answering to God for how well they helped develop their family’s spiritual walk. God holds men accountable in a very special way.

One of my favorite pastors, Dr. John Piper of Desiring God discusses the role of husbands as laid out in Ephesians 5 in many of his writings & sermons. In his sermon “Lionhearted and Lamblike: The Christian Husband as Head,” he says this:

Headship is the divine calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christ-like, servant leadership, protection, and provision in the home.

After exploring this topic, I realized that I want to marry an extraordinary man of God who accepts headship for everything that it means. Marriage is beautiful, but if the husband is not ready to practice headship, the entire family can be in jeopardy. A spouse is a very influential person. If they are not fully devoted to Christ and fulfilling the roles he has created for them, the marriage will not glorify God in the way that is should.

Many men say that they love God, but their character, choices and demeanor say otherwise. Men who are not Christ-like are incapable of leading a wife and family closer to Him. And for a woman who loves God with her whole heart, marrying a man who does not love God the same way is a huge risk to take.

I want Christian women everywhere to think twice about the man that they want to marry. Don’t just pray for a Christian man, but pray for what you need specifically. This is what I realized about what kind of man of God I hope to marry.

  • I want to marry a courageous man. A man who will not be bought or sold. A man who loves God with a deep, burning love.
  • I want to marry a man who will not do wrong not just because he loves me, but because he cannot sin against God.
  • I want to marry a man who is in his inmost soul true and honest. A man who seeks God and whose primary goal is to be like Jesus.
  • I want to marry a man who can seek God for me, for our children and for direction. I want a man who can minister to me.
  • I want to marry a man who is so in love with the Lord, that God will literally have to tell him that it’s time to make me his wife.
  • I want to marry a man who trusts God with his life and my life. A man that is willing to do anything for God.
  • I want to marry a man who will have a deep, pure love for me because he has a deep well of love for God.
  • I want to marry a man who is less worried about the carnal and more concerned with the spiritual.
  • I want to marry a man who walks with God every single day of his life, like Enoch, and whose primary goal is to ensure me and our children are walking with the Lord every single day.

I hope that by sharing this, everyone will be encouraged to talk to God about exactly what they need in a Christian husband or wife.

My prayer for men

Lord, I pray that you heal a generation of men from brokenness, confusion, sin and every tool that the enemy uses to break and bind them. I pray that they will turn their eyes to you so that they can effectively lead their families. I pray that you give them insight into what it means to be a man of God. I pray that you give them the desire to seek so you so that they can be the head of their households and raise their children. Lord, heal and deliver and show them what it means to be husbands and fathers. In your name, Amen.



10 Replies to “I Want To Marry A Man…”

  1. Brittany, this post is EVERYTHING! I am so elated that you chose to share this. Many people, men and women alike, need to be encouraged and challenged in this area. I think it is especially needed for people in our age bracket because this is the age most Christians are looking for mates. Great post!!!!!!! I cannot wait to meet your husband because I know he will be all these things and more.

    With all the sisterly love I can muster,
    Jeida K.

  2. (I’m writing this for the second time -____- so please excuse any typos!)

    Wow, Brittany! What a great post! This CAUGHT MY ATTENTION! This was a recent topic at PCC! I did feel a little shade with that YouShare app, but I digress. After delving into the true meaning of marriage and Ephesians 5 at church, I had to reevaluate what I was looking for and truly wanted in a husband. I pray that I find a Christian man that understands that the roles given to a husband and wife are lifetime commitments to God. Paul said that a marriage should mirror how God loved the church. A man is not only there to provide and lead but to encourage salvation! Jesus’ love was so great that he sacrificed himself for the Church to save it– and we as Christian women should want a husband who wishes to give their all spiritually to us, like He did. This is by far the greatest love ever shown and I can only pray that one day I am forever spiritually linked with a man who strengthens my faith and desire to completely and selflessly devote my life to Him.

  3. Loooovveee it! I agree wholeheartedly with you Brittany. And just to go a little further oh God make us women as statues of integrity. Show us how to be the partner of our spouses, learning to care for him, loving Him with the immensable love of Christ. Equip us to be the caregiver for our family, allow us to be the ones tk hold it all together. Amen!
    I believe we as women can help shape these men into the men of God they were created to be. How? Know what we want and be willing not to compromise those wants. Begin to run after Jesus with everything that we have and not only will the man run behind us because we are beautiful, but because we illuminating God’s light!

    1. Thanks Shalayna! And I completely agree. We have to be Christian women who hold ourselves to high standards as well. It’s only fair! Thanks for reading.

  4. I really really enjoyed this. I couldn’t help but think about my parents marriage and am beginning to understand why my father raised us the way he did. Thank you for this.

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