It’s been a while since I’ve blogged but I wanted to share some thoughts on being in getting older and being in God’s will. In case you couldn’t tell based on the title if you didn’t already know, today is my birthday! I am now 23 years old and I’m thankful to see this day. For the weeks leading up to my birthday, many thoughts lingered in my head about my soon-coming birthday.
Is 23 even really an important year?
Should I celebrate?
What makes 23 different from 22?
The more I thought about these things, the more I realized how ridiculous I was being. It’s not that age 23 itself is guaranteed to be monumental, but that God had done so much for me and through me at age 22 so I know that this will be a phenomenal year.
Last year, I went through many changes in my family, education, walk with the Lord and every other aspect one can think of. I also had submission issues. I had done a really great job of calling God my Provider, my Healer, my Restorer but a really poor job of treating Him as Lord, Master and Guide. I wasn’t very interested in submitting to Him deeply yet and it showed in my life. But none of that mattered because He is jealous for me. Jealousy is a strong emotion that doesn’t take “no” for an answer and God made it very clear that He wanted me to himself. He made this clear through one of the most heartbreaking experiences I’ve ever gone through, but it is a sheer blessing that He loves us disciplines us, considers our soul first and feelings later.
For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ. -2 Corinthians 11:2 KJV
My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction: For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth. -Proverbs 3:11, 12 KJV
As a result of this experience of God shaking up my life, I am in a place that I would not trade for anything. I have made so many bad decisions, wrong turns and honestly, done some really stupid things but the amazing thing about God is that He can make all things work together for our good. His sovereignty blows my mind because I know that before I do anything, He knows how things will end. Nothing catches Him by surprise so even when I go through bad things either as an attack of satan or as a result of my own bad decision, He knows that the experience can be used for my good and for His glory. How amazing is that? Also, He has poured into my life during these past few months. I’ve been blessed with a community of Godly friends, an amazing best friend who loves God dearly and even a phenomenal small group Bible study that I started last night. There is nothing that brings sheer joy, peace, contentment and gratefulness like knowing that you are where God wants you, living for Him and staying in His will. It’s hard going through life if you’re bucking up against His plans for you, and I’m thankful that I don’t even try to anymore.
Turning 23 means so much to me because this is the year that I began walking with God. For the first time in my entire life, God hasn’t been an afterthought or just this scary figure that I had to keep happy. He is my Beloved, my Father, my Lord and my Master yet also my Bridegroom, Provider, Protector, Best Friend and Guide. At this age, nothing matters more to me than living for Christ and making Him known so that others can share in this blessed assurance that I have. The reality is too, my life is not perfect. I have lots of struggles and challenges to work through every single day across many areas of my life. But knowing that God and I are walking together and that God will work everything for my good makes me the happiest girl alive. After knowing that God wasn’t pleased with me before, there’s no gift greater than to know that we are back in a good place.
If you’re in a rough place with God right now, know that He is jealous for you and that He wants to know you intimately. There’s nothing that should come before Him and that if He needs to move things around to have access to you, He might do that but that just shows His amazing love even more.
This is a brief post but thanks for reading and please send up a birthday prayer for me! Prayers are one of my favorite gifts. 🙂
A little older and a (hopefully) a little wiser,