I’m wide awake at 6:45 on a Sunday morning and I’m okay with it.
I woke up God woke me up around 4 am because my room was warm, but I really think it was His way of saying, “Love, we need to talk.” I have a lot on my mind at this hour, but I’m glad that to be meeting Him in the still of the night. If you’re reading this, you’re probably thinking something along the lines of “where has she been?” The short answer to that is student teaching. This is my last semester in college so I’m teaching 8th grade social studies full-time on top of completing coursework for my education program. Because college is almost over, I’ve been trying to figure out many things. I’m transitioning from my comfort zone of college into the real world and it’s has been challenging. Applications, interviews, licensing exams, graduation plans, job searches and Atlanta traffic have really taken their toll on me. I would love to say that I haven’t been stressed because I’ve been trusting God for everything, but I’d be a liar if I did. I know that these things have affected me a lot because my devotional time has not been the most important thing to me like it used to be. I define backsliding by having less intimacy with Christ than you did the last time. I’ve been a backslider.
This past semester and even this past summer, I was very disciplined about spending hours with the Lord and it showed in every aspect of my life. I craved that time with Him more than I craved food. No matter how busy and no matter how early I had to be somewhere, Jesus and I would connect first. I’ve allowed assignments, deadlines, commitments and
people other distractions to come before that time and it has shown in my work, relationships, motivation, attitude and emotions. I haven’t been alive. I realize that when I don’t spend time with the Lord like I should, I merely exist. When I sit at His feet, pour my heart out to Him and allow Him to pour into me, I become alive. It’s during our time together that He revives me. He breathes life into my old bones. It’s where He gives me a clean heart and renews a right spirit in me. It’s through prayer and the Word that He takes out my heart of stone and gives me a heart of flesh. Without this time with Him, I am lost and confused. I am okay with the fact that I can’t function without Him because I’m not supposed to be able to.
On Friday after school, I spontaneously decided skip town and visit
my little sister who steals all my clothes my baby sister for the weekend where she attends a quiet, Christian school. The area is absolutely breath-taking and I literally feel the burdens of my heart roll away when I’m here. I had to get away from all the noise and re-connect with God. I’m sure I could have done that in Atlanta, but I knew for a fact that I could do it here. This weekend was amazing. I’ve been able to really reconnect with God. And not just through time alone with Him, but through all the reminders of His love for me. Yesterday, I was surrounded by precious children, had an amazing time being in the presence of my sweet sister, saw some lovely animals while enjoying nature, had my face in His book for a lot of the day and He allowed the ☀ to shine SO bright! These are all things that I love a lot and allow me to feel His love. And, the time I’ve spent with Him in the quiet hours of the morning has been beautiful. I’ve been able to study Ephesians and talk with Him, and for the first time in a while, I feel complete peace. I still have many things to sort out, assignments to complete and lessons to write, but now that I’ve pressed the reset button my devotional life, I know that all of the other giants towering over me will be easily conquered.
I don’t know if any of you have found yourself in a similar situation, but in case you have, get away from all the distractions around you and go to a place where you can focus on God. If that means leaving town for a few days or just having devotion in your backyard, do whatever you have to do. Devotional time is our lifeblood; we truly need it to survive.
The fuel to everything in the Christian walk is personal, private time with God. -Doss and Wood
And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. -Jeremiah 29:13 KJV