New blog feature: Resource Library

Good afternoon friends,

I hope that you are all well. I wanted to write a short blurb about something that I’ve worked really hard on to be of service to you. When I’m looking up different topics and issues related to living as a Christian young adult, I come across many great resources. I find free e-books, sermons, videos, booklets, articles, blog posts, music and more. Some of the resources that I’ve come across online have been exactly what I needed to read at a particular time in life, and I feel that it’s only fitting to make these resources available to those who may come to my blog looking for insight on a particular topic.

So today, I formally welcome you to check out Where He Makes All Things Beautiful’s new resource library. Feel free to browse, explore and share. A friend of mine already started a book group from a great free resource she found there and it’s helping many of the women in a tremendous way. Also, if there is ever a particular topic you may be looking for Godly counsel or advice on, feel free to comment somewhere on the blog or use the Say Hello feature to ask me. More than likely, I know of something that can help.

God bless you and have an awesome day!

Brittany

library

“He’s not good enough for you…”

Hey friends,

I hope that you’re all doing really well. I wanted to come share my thoughts on some things again. Right now, it’s 2:31am and I pulled out my iPad to write this so it’s clearly pretty important to me. Just like my last post, it won’t be well-written, but these are my raw thoughts.

What is it with man slander in the Christian community? Why is it so common and accepted? Granted, I believe that men should be Godly and pursue God, but what kind of men are some Christian people expecting women to marry? Do you ever notice that it’s always those that are already married leading the “don’t marry him if…” brigade too. But I digress…

I have thought about the conversations that I’ve had with friends about men.

He’s not spiritual enough.

He doesn’t pray that well.

He cares too much about other things.

I think I’m spiritually stronger than him.

What would people think about me if I was with him?

Am I the only one whose heard or said these things? These things sound ridiculous and they are.

All Christian women want to marry a guy who loves Jesus, can pray well, studies the Word, will provide, be a great father, respect her, honor her, work hard, etc, but think of the men you know who fit this description and consider their age.

I’m really guilty of looking at men who are well older than me and thinking, “wow, where are the men like that who are my age?” There may be some but they’re very few. Everyone needs time to develop spirutually, especially young adult men. Being a young adult man who strives to honor God right now? I would not want to trade places with them. I know it’s tough!

Also ladies, when we look at the men, are we considering our own spiritual state? Not even just spiritual state, but overall state. We think of ourselves as being more together and more righteous than we are, when in reality, we’re probably not that together and our righteousness is that of filthy, disgusting rags. We have high, lofty standards for a guy because we forget our own hang-ups. I create extremely high standards but I forget that I suck at budgeting money, hate to exercise, don’t always pray for everyone who asks or forgive people who wrong me. I forget that I still have a temper, buck up against God at times and even judge others. I forget these things when I’m telling God everything that a man that comes my way should be. How dare I be so demanding when I’m a sinner too? Here’s a real question.

Ladies, have we forgotten that we’re imperfect sinners?

If you have, here is your reminder. πŸ˜‰

None of us are in a position to tell God what we deserve. NONE of us. We are deserving of death, but Christ gives us good things out of the abundance of His love. We can make requests to Him, but we should never tell Him what we think we deserve.

I’ve had people point out all the things that a Christian guy isn’t, but what about the things that he is?

Is he respectful?
Does he love and honor his parents?
Does he love The Lord?
Is he compassionate?
Does he serve?
Is he making a conscious effort to know Him?
Does he study and/or work hard?

Don’t these things count for something? Even if he isn’t tweeting scripture everyday and leading the Bible study, are these things not evidence that He loves The Lord, is pursuing Biblical manhood and is striving spiritually? Plus, who knows where he can be in a year, five or twenty-five? The Tim Kellers, John Pipers, Francis Chans, Carlton Byrds, Billy Grahams and Paul Washers of the world were not the men that they are today when they were my age.

Remember too, marriage is about holiness and happiness is a by-product. So essentially, our goal should be to link ourselves to another sinner who with their whole heart is dedicated to becoming more like Christ themselves and helping you to do the same.

Please don’t let people tell you everything that they guy you date should and should not be. What works for one couple may not work for another and God doesn’t write all of our love stories the same way. Also, don’t covet the guy that another woman is dating or married to. What God has for her is for her; what He has for you is for you.

At the core, this blog post is about grace. Grace that God gives and the grace that we should extend toward others. Please don’t think that I’m saying date and marry an unbeliever, or even a Christian who has no fruit…but please understand that we’ve got to have grace for those around us as it pertains to their Christian experience too. God moves in a mysterious way and you never know how He may be working in the life of that guy in your Bible study that you think is a joke. Because when it comes down to it, I really just want to spend my life with someone who is imperfect but who loves Jesus like crazy and can help me love Him more too.

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And if you don’t know, now you know…

Brittany

10 Great Posts on Christian Singleness, Love and Marriage

Hello friends,

I hope that you are all well. As you all know, I love to read and learn and I am interested in all things God. The Bible, its history, love, singleness, the institution of marriage, worship, character, spiritual gifts and so much more. I spend much of my free time exploring what Christian authors have to say about these topics. This post features 10 of my favorite blog posts and articles about singleness, love, courtship, dating and marriage. What I especially love about everything I’ve shared here is that they are God-centered, not emotion-based. Each writer has a Godly perspective on their work’s topic and to me, that is very important. Love is God, God is love and whenever we consider love and any of the institutions of it, God should always be at the center. Also, more than half of these articles were passed on to me by Jeida, so I couldn’t dare share them all without giving her a shout out lol. But anyway, I hope that you find everything here useful and thought-provoking. Ready…go! πŸ™‚

Singleness

What If The One Never Comes by Sharona Drake at Paradime Women

I’m Saved, So Why Am I Single? by Jeida Storey at Destiny Collisions

Courtship/Dating/Marriage Preparation

We Can Be Friends by Mrs. Rich at The Good Life

True Love Does More Than Just Wait by Claire and Eli at Relevant Magazine

10 Ways to Be Marriable by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin at Boundless Webzine

Marriage

You Never Marry the Right Person by Timothy Keller at Relevant Magazine

The Story of Ian & Larissa by John Piper at Desiring God (be sure to watch the short video as well)

Five Things Every Successful Marriage Has To Have by Perry Noble at PerryNoble.com

Love

Settling by Scott Craft at Boundless Webzine

Man Enough To Love A Real Woman by Joshua Rogers at Boundless Webzine

I hope that these articles and blog posts get you thinking and are a blessing to you. If you want to talk about anything you read, feel free to comment below!

Also, below I’ve posted links to FREE books and booklets about the aforementioned topics. They are yours to download and learn from.

Resources

A Girl’s Guide to Marrying Well
A Guy’s Guide to Marrying Well
This Momentary Marriage
Preparing for Marriage: Help for Christian Couples
Sex and the Supremacy of Christ

Thanks for reading,

Brittany

Unrealistic Expectations or Godly Standards?

For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly. -Psalm 84:11 KJV

And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise. -Luke 6:31 KJV

Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God. -Proverbs 31:30 MSG

Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful face on an empty head. -Proverbs 11:22 MSG

Hello friends. I hope that you’re all doing well. I want to talk about the difference between unrealistic expectations in a significant other vs having Godly standards. I think that often times, young Christian people can get the two confused.

We live in a society where our ideas about love, romance and marriage are distorted by music, movies and romance novels. I can’t speak for men, but I know that most of my female friends have watched The Notebook and wondered when they’d meet a guy like Noah or watched Disney movies wishing that they’d get their fairytale ending. I know that those stories are fun, but more than likely, it won’t be your story. Real life is not a movie.

Many of us have expectations for a significant other that came from a place other than God’s word. If you fit in this category, this has to change. As Christians, our standards and expectations for everything should come from God’s word. We should desire to be with someone whose character and demeanor resembles Christ’s, not Prince Charming. Not saying that you expect them to be perfect, but they should be working to be like Christ each and everyday. So often, we miss out on the opportunity to get to know amazing people because we have man-made, unrealistic expectations. My friend Charmaine talked about this on Saturday and hit the head on the nail. She talked about how often times Christian women want a guy who loves God, is in perfect shape, will buy them a huge wedding ring, makes tons of money, will put up with their bad attitude, who will cook everyday, who will be just like their dad, who will be great at pleasing them sexually, etcetera. And it’s not just women. I recently saw a Christian guy say that if he could pick two things about his wife, he’d want her to love God and to have a big butt. I’ve also heard Christian guys say that they want a woman who loves God, has a “perfect” body, will cook everyday, will watch sports with them, will want to have sex everyday forever, will cook like a professional chef, will be a specific complexion, etc. The list can go on and on and on!

Now, there’s nothing wrong with preferences, but is it possible that we could be missing out on God’s best for us because we can’t see past all the unrealistic expectations we have created? I mean, wouldn’t it just be better to take a trip to the Build-A-Man Workshop or order a Stepford Wife? I honestly think that’s the only way that some of us will find someone that meets all of our qualifications.

Now that I have you thinking, I want to share 5 things that I think will help us keep our standards Godly and realistic at the same time.

1. Understand what marriage is actually about…

I, like many people, used to be under the impression that marriage was just God’s gift to single people. Having a wonderful, handsome man all to myself for my time here on Earth sure sounded like a treat from a loving Savior to me! lol. But recently, I’ve come to understand that marriage is not entirely about our pleasure and happiness. Ephesians 5:22-33 shows us how marriage is actually an earthly representation of God’s love for His people. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” and the verses behind it shows us that wives represent us, God’s people. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” shows us that husbands represent Christ, who came and died to save His people. Also, keep in mind that marriage should make us even more like Christ. It exists to make us holy.

When we understand that marriage is actually supposed to primarily glorify God and not just please us, we realize that the standards for a significant other really should be present to ensure that we will date or court and eventually marry someone who we can glorify God with. As a result of glorifying God, we are blessed and receive joy. When you think about it that way, it really isn’t a requirement that he gets you a huge engagement ring, is it? πŸ™‚

2. Get your standards from God’s word, not society…

Many of us have adopted society’s standards for who we date instead of the standards that come from God’s word. We prefer looks over character and money over spiritual strength. We forget what’s most important in a significant other and start choosing people for the wrong reasons. God gives us His word so that we can utilize it in every area of our lives. Women of God, you can’t ask God for a Godly man who also resembles the world. The same goes for men of God. Don’t be lukewarm or double-minded in your determining who to have a relationship with. Look at the character, lifestyles and personalities of most important Jesus, then possibly great men and women of the Bible and adopt those as your standards.

3. We should be able to reach the standards we want in a mate…

If you know that you want to marry a woman who has a thriving prayer life, is educated, takes care of herself and has goals in life, make sure that you are a man that encompasses all of those attributes and qualities. Really, how fair is it to have a list of standards for someone else that you cannot reach? It’s not fair at all. Be willing to have as much to offer as you want to receive. If this means working on cultivating faithfulness in your own life before deciding to date, do that. I’m not saying that you have to be perfect before pursuing a relationship, but that you should be working to gain whatever qualities or attributes that you would like to see in the person that you want to marry.

4. Realize that there’s no such thing as a perfect person…

There is no such thing as a perfect person. None of us are perfect so we should not expect that from anyone else. At some point or another, the person you date will likely make you mad, annoy you, disappoint you and make mistakes. It’s apart of life. I’m sure that Boaz annoyed Ruth and that Rachel probably got on Jacob’s nerves at least once too. But if God has blessed you with someone who loves Him and has a relationship with Him, has Godly character, works to be a better Christian everyday, is working hard in other aspects of their life and truly loves and cares for you, love that person. We all live in a sinful word and we all have our past hurts, mistakes, issues and problems. Ask God to help you see that they although they aren’t perfect, that they are a blessing to your life.

5. Don’t compare…

Your husband leaves the toilet seat up and your college boyfriend never did. Your girlfriend can’t cook as well as your last one. So what? Love them anyway and encourage them to be better. So many of us are unhappy with who God has given us because we are comparing them to someone from our past. Not only is this wrong, but it’s unfair. How would you like to be compared to other people? God knows what He is doing. If you were supposed to be with the last person, you would be with them. Don’t waste your time reminiscing on what the old person used to do so well and thank God for everything that the current person is. The grass is not greener on the other side or in the past. Water your grass by supporting, loving and encouraging the one God has blessed you with.

I don’t want any of you to think that I’m saying date someone who you don’t like just because they love God or marry someone you aren’t attracted to. I believe that you should enjoy as well as be attracted to the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with. I’m just encouraging you to make sure that your standards are Biblical and all for ensuring that you settle down with the person that you can best glorify God with.

I want to make it clear that I don’t think I have any special knowledge or that I know it all. I’ve dated, but I’m not married so I have no idea what it takes. However, I read a lot. I’m going to include a short list of my favorite resource that pertain to dating/courting/marriage. They may interest you.

Thanks,

Brittany

The greatest want of the world is the want of menβ€”men who will not be bought or sold, men who in their inmost souls are true and honest, men who do not fear to call sin by its right name, men whose conscience is as true to duty as the needle to the pole, men who will stand for the right though the heavens fall. – Ellen G. White

Resources

Books
“This Momentary Marriage” by John Piper
“Letters to Young Lovers” by Ellen G. White
“Waiting and Dating” by Dr. Myles Munroe

Sermons
Boy Meets Girl Message Series by Louie Giglio
Lionhearted and Lamblike: The Christian Husband as Head, Part 1 by John Piper
Lionhearted and Lamblike: The Christian Husband as Head, Part 2 by John Piper
The Incredible Worth of a Woman by Mark Bickle

Articles and videos
You Never Marry The Right Person
The Story of Ian and Larissa