Marriage Musings from a New Wife + Wedding Photos

My husband and I recently celebrated 6 months of marriage. It has been 180 days since we said “I do” and we are very grateful for this small milestone. What I find funny about being married is that it doesn’t feel that new. In fact, I hardly remember what life was like before waking up next to him. It’s like he’s always been here. However, there have definitely been areas where we have both needed to adjust.

Living with another person is not always the easiest, but if you are committed to loving your spouse, you find ways to make your lives work. We are believers and have faith that God has placed us in each others lives for many reasons, with the primary reason being to help each other grow in our faith. When we keep this in mind, it keeps us focused on why we are together besides just love. There have been some adjustments that we’ve had to make, however, to ensure that both parties are happy.

The first adjustment was to make sure we are speaking to each other as kindly as possible. My husband is a natural at this. He naturally really kind and polite (unless he’s your basketball trainer). On the other hand, you have me. My only major punishments as a child were for talking back and for being rude when speaking. My parents were very traditional in their view of what children should be able to say and had no problem letting me know when I was out of line. I have made major strides in learning how to speak without being passive aggressive or condescending, but at times, it quite literally slips out. These are the moments when I have to say “I said that wrong. What I should have said was…” and apologize to my husband. When I was single, I was never as comfortable with another human as I am with my husband, but even as a wife, I have to make sure that my comfort does not allow me to become abrasive. We continually work to speak to each other with love and words that will make the other feel cherished.

Another area that we’ve had to adjust is our time. Before I married my husband, I pretty much lived at my job. Although I have exclusively been a salaried employee for the last 4 years, I am the type of person who would spend hours in my classroom perfecting bulletin boards or creating new projects. I was known for calling parents at 7pm and replying to e-mails well after 8pm. This is just the type of person I am and time flies when I’m having fun. Being married means that I can still work, but my husband definitely wants to spend time with me each day. Our schedules are quite opposite during the school year, and sometimes this means making adjustments so that we can spend time together. We have learned to do this and it has helped us so much.

One last adjustment is actively looking for opportunities to serve one another. My husband is a remarkable person in so many ways, but I’m especially thankful for the ways that he serves me. While reminiscing with a friend recently, I shared with her about how when I became ill with food poisoning once while we were dating, my husband served me in a way that really showed me his heart for me. He continues to do this even now. When I wake up for work each morning, he will go start my car, fill it up with gas or even make an early store run if I need something. He helps me by making sure I have my lunch, my keys and anything else I need on the daily basis. I can count on one hand how many times I have pumped gas or carried anything remotely heavy. These are just a few of the ways he serves me. I also look for ways to serve him. Whether it be making sure he has healthy meals, helping him manage social media for his business, shampooing his hair or just bringing him something special home for dinner. We have started asking each other “how can I make your day better” and it has truly helped us.

Being married has been a beautiful experience thus far and I cannot wait to see what God has in store for us in the future. Below are some of the wedding photos that I think capture the feeling of our day the best. As always, I have question for you.

If you are married, which lessons did you learn early on in your marriage? And how do you keep your marriage healthy? If you are not and desire marriage, what do you think will be an area you must work on when you become married? Please share your thoughts below in the Comments section. 

In pursuit of all things green,

Brittany

 

life after God takes away

I will open rivers in high places, and fountains in the midst of the valleys: I will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water. – Isaiah 41:18 KJV

Two years and one week ago, I wrote a blog post called, “When God Takes Away.” When I wrote this, I was coming out of a dark season in my life following a difficult breakup. When referring to the breakup in previous blog posts, I shared that I was deeply hurt, but I never conveyed how hurt. Continue reading “life after God takes away”

God Moves In A Mysterious Way

In my current phase of life, certain hymns have become a mainstay in my music library. This hymn, God Moves In A Mysterious Way, has helped me to be able to accept the things that God is doing and allowing even when they made absolutely no sense to me. When speaking to my wonderful adopted big sis Dee earlier this week, we talked about much higher God’s ways and thoughts are than ours. His thinking is on a level that we can’t even imagine. This song is a beautiful reminder to me that what I see right now isn’t the end and that God truly moves in a mysterious way. The hymn was written by William Cowper in 1774. Here is a short passage about his life from CyberHymnal.org.

Cow­per oft­en strug­gled with de­press­ion and doubt. One night he de­cid­ed to com­mit su­i­cide by drown­ing him­self. He called a cab and told the driv­er to take him to the Thames Riv­er. How­ev­er, thick fog came down and pre­vent­ed them from find­ing the riv­er (ano­ther ver­sion of the story has the driv­er get­ting lost de­liber­ate­ly). After driv­ing around lost for a while, the cab­by fin­al­ly stopped and let Cow­per out. To Cowper’s sur­prise, he found him­self on his own door­step: God had sent the fog to keep him from kill­ing him­self. Even in our black­est mo­ments, God watch­es over us.

And the song he so beautifully penned…

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.

Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.

Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.” – John 13:7 ESV

He Will Guide: Encouragement for 20-somethings

In his heart a man plans His course, but the Lord determines His steps. – Proverbs 16:9 NIV

Hello friends,

I hope that you all are doing well. God has been showing me some incredible things about His guidance that I think can be a great encouragement to someone else.

Last week at church, I was sitting in our weekly pre-service Bible study when we were asked, "what is your favorite attribute or characteristic of Jesus?" I don't know how many times I've answered this question, but the answer changes as my relationship with God grows and as my life evolves. In this phase of life, my favorite attributes of His are faithfulness and leadership. Life as a 20-something is extremely uncertain and there are lots of things that can go wrong, but in my own life I have found that it is in these times of uncertainty that God shows Himself to be a faithful leader.

As I saw the summer wrapping up at the end of July with no job prospects in sight after months of aggressive searching and applying, I experienced a feeling that hadn't been present in my life for a while: fear. That feeling had been gone because where faith dwells, fear does not. But when I began to look at my situation with my own carnal eyes instead of faith, I panicked.

I won’t have a job. What will people/my parents/my family think of me? I spent a year teaching for free and now no one will hire me? What if I messed up somewhere? What happened? God, what’s happening?

These thoughts and questions littered my mind as I thought about how disappointed I would be if I didn’t “use my degree” immediately. But how silly of me. I know that God guides me because every time I’ve asked for His guidance, I have seen Him lead me and guide me into the place that I needed to be. It may not have looked like where I needed to be while I was being guided, but later, I could stand back and see how He had used me in that place. Never once did I ever walk alone. And although things didn’t look like what I thought they would, God was definitely working. And this is how I know…

Way back in the spring, I realized that I had gotten everything I went to Atlanta to get. I knew that that season was over and that I didn’t want to be there or at home. So I prayed a lot, begging God to place me in a new environment. So I waited, and when God didn’t open the door I thought He would use to move me, I thought that He was choosing to ignore that prayer and gave up on it completely. Once summer rolled around, I applied everywhere and nothing worked out. Even the interviews that I went on where things looked good or where I was overqualified fell through. I had no idea what God was doing. But in the midst of all the disappointment and constant questions about whether “I had found a job yet” by those around me, I continued to pray and stay in the Word. Then somewhat out of nowhere, I was inspired by God to read the entire book of Acts. I studied it and was completely blown away by what a genuine body of believers could do for God. I became enthralled by the idea of Christian community and very aware of the lack of it in my own life.

A few weeks after that, my mom tells me about a job opening near Philadelphia that I am qualified for that would allow me to live closer to family. I was somewhat reluctant to complete the application, but because my mom suggested it, I did it anyway. Two weeks after that, I arrived in Pennsylvania for my last interview and got the job. Once I started working, I realized how blessed I was. My co-workers are all great, great people and I even have the privilege of working for and with some devoted Christians. Not only do I enjoy what I do, but I have made some real friends while working. Life-long friends. And, God is so good that He is giving me the opportunity to apply to a different job within my company that would allow me to use my degree and do something I am passionate about. Normally, one would have to wait 6 months to switch departments but that is not the case for this position. Only God.

And lastly, a couple weeks ago while at church, I finally caught up with my senior pastor and began to talk with her about how I truly believe that God had prepared a place for me here even before I knew about the job or thought about moving here. I shared with her that I loved what I do, that I love being close to family and even how blessed I was to have been led to this particular church. I told her about how I wanted community with young adults in Atlanta but struggled to find it and how God had practically whispered in my ear a week before during service to show me that He wanted me here at this time for a special purpose and how it moved me to tears. Then I told her about how He lead me to study the entire book of Acts this summer. Her eyes lit up and she told me that God had lead them to study the book of Acts for the entire first year and a half of their church. They were studying Acts while I was asking God to direct my post-graduation plans. This sealed everything for me.

I know that the 20s are not an easy time in life because I am living through them. There is the quarter-life crisis, getting established, expectations, educational decisions, relationships, marriage and children for some, paying back loans for others, a crazy job market and many other daunting things ahead. But God is a faithful guide. Never once will we ever walk alone. Even when things look uncertain, unsure and unstable, God is there clearing a path, preparing the way and ordering steps for us. So if you find yourself in a place that does not look like what you thought it would, just continue to trust Him because He is likely still working on your behalf. And don’t let the opinions of others or fear of man keep you from being where God is trying to place you. Consider God’s opinions above all others. And lastly, remember that salvation is more important to Him than anything else. He is here to guide us into all truth, not all riches, popularity or happiness. Truth. Remember that.

xo,

Brittany

Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths. – Proverbs 3:5,6 AMP

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