Marriage Musings from a New Wife + Wedding Photos

My husband and I recently celebrated 6 months of marriage. It has been 180 days since we said “I do” and we are very grateful for this small milestone. What I find funny about being married is that it doesn’t feel that new. In fact, I hardly remember what life was like before waking up next to him. It’s like he’s always been here. However, there have definitely been areas where we have both needed to adjust.

Living with another person is not always the easiest, but if you are committed to loving your spouse, you find ways to make your lives work. We are believers and have faith that God has placed us in each others lives for many reasons, with the primary reason being to help each other grow in our faith. When we keep this in mind, it keeps us focused on why we are together besides just love. There have been some adjustments that we’ve had to make, however, to ensure that both parties are happy.

The first adjustment was to make sure we are speaking to each other as kindly as possible. My husband is a natural at this. He naturally really kind and polite (unless he’s your basketball trainer). On the other hand, you have me. My only major punishments as a child were for talking back and for being rude when speaking. My parents were very traditional in their view of what children should be able to say and had no problem letting me know when I was out of line. I have made major strides in learning how to speak without being passive aggressive or condescending, but at times, it quite literally slips out. These are the moments when I have to say “I said that wrong. What I should have said was…” and apologize to my husband. When I was single, I was never as comfortable with another human as I am with my husband, but even as a wife, I have to make sure that my comfort does not allow me to become abrasive. We continually work to speak to each other with love and words that will make the other feel cherished.

Another area that we’ve had to adjust is our time. Before I married my husband, I pretty much lived at my job. Although I have exclusively been a salaried employee for the last 4 years, I am the type of person who would spend hours in my classroom perfecting bulletin boards or creating new projects. I was known for calling parents at 7pm and replying to e-mails well after 8pm. This is just the type of person I am and time flies when I’m having fun. Being married means that I can still work, but my husband definitely wants to spend time with me each day. Our schedules are quite opposite during the school year, and sometimes this means making adjustments so that we can spend time together. We have learned to do this and it has helped us so much.

One last adjustment is actively looking for opportunities to serve one another. My husband is a remarkable person in so many ways, but I’m especially thankful for the ways that he serves me. While reminiscing with a friend recently, I shared with her about how when I became ill with food poisoning once while we were dating, my husband served me in a way that really showed me his heart for me. He continues to do this even now. When I wake up for work each morning, he will go start my car, fill it up with gas or even make an early store run if I need something. He helps me by making sure I have my lunch, my keys and anything else I need on the daily basis. I can count on one hand how many times I have pumped gas or carried anything remotely heavy. These are just a few of the ways he serves me. I also look for ways to serve him. Whether it be making sure he has healthy meals, helping him manage social media for his business, shampooing his hair or just bringing him something special home for dinner. We have started asking each other “how can I make your day better” and it has truly helped us.

Being married has been a beautiful experience thus far and I cannot wait to see what God has in store for us in the future. Below are some of the wedding photos that I think capture the feeling of our day the best. As always, I have question for you.

If you are married, which lessons did you learn early on in your marriage? And how do you keep your marriage healthy? If you are not and desire marriage, what do you think will be an area you must work on when you become married? Please share your thoughts below in the Comments section. 

In pursuit of all things green,

Brittany

 

becoming one: our love story

He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” – Matthew 19:4-6 ESV

 

As I think about the Bible, unity is one of my favorite reoccurring themes. Before departing this Earth, Jesus himself prayed that his people would be one. He was one not only with His father, God, but the Holy Spirit as well. The desire to be one is not something that Jesus alone possesses, but it is a desire that we have been given, too. 

For the last two years, I have had the pleasure of being in relationship with one that my soul loves. His name is Anthony. Although an odd circumstance, I made his acquaintance several years ago while engaging in a disagreement online. The disagreement was very short lived and soon after, he apologized and introduced himself. Toward the end of 2012, we developed a budding friendship. Since we already had many mutual friends, becoming friends was easy. We were both easy going college students who loved God, music, trying new things, Southern life and helping people. Our conversations centered around writing, musical instruments, life experiences, sports and our passions. Talking to each other was always easy and I always felt safe when in his “company.” Something that I immediately noticed was how he kept in contact with me. If I became busy or wrapped up in my work, he would still reach out to me at least once every two weeks just to make sure I was okay. I didn’t take it that these were indicators that he was at all interested in me, but more so displays of genuine Christian friendship. It was nice to get to know someone with no pressure to be in a relationship. He became a confidant and trusted friend.

After I graduated in May 2013 and moved back home for the summer, our conversations continued and we began to learn more about each other. It was then that our mutual friends started to notice our interactions with each other and make mention of them. I was confident that we were purely friends so I ignored their comments. I was certain that there was nothing but friendship between us, so things continued. During the summer, we were actually able to meet in person and interact at a function in North Carolina. Shortly after that summer, I moved to Pennsylvania for work and to be a bit closer to family. Our friendship continued to grow throughout the end of 2013 and beginning of 2014. 

summer 2013

But in the spring of 2014, there was a shift in our friendship. It started when I took a job as a long-term substitute teacher in West Philadelphia that gave me an hour-long commute very early in the morning. Not only was the commute long, but the job was tough. It was demanding in many ways and it took a lot out of me. It was then that Anthony offered to help in any way he could, and we started talking each morning during my early morning commute. I was impressed that he would want to wake up and talk to me at 6:30 am, but again, I thought he was being a good friend. It was in the midst of that job that the Lord started to open my eyes to the possibility that this incredible  man could have feelings for me and vice versa. I prayed, I shared with trusted friends and I continued to observe him. My feelings were confirmed when I realized that he was the only man I wanted to get to know. On May 5th, 2014, we became a couple and have never looked back. He later told me that he had feelings for me well before we began dating. 🙂 Our two long distance years together have been nothing short of amazing. We have learned about patience, grace, forgiveness, generosity, kindness and faith through our relationship. God has used everything we have experienced together to help us become closer to Him and to become better people.

summer 2015, vacation with Anthony’s family


Just a few weeks ago, there was another shift in our relationship. On April 23rd of this year, Anthony gathered some of our closest friends from all over in the most beautiful park in my city and surprised me with a thoughtful proposal where he shared the reasons that he loves me. He got down on one knee, presented me with a lovely ring and asked me to become his wife. With tears, I said “yes.” It is a day that I’ll never forget. I have never felt more special and loved. To know that he worked so hard to put the day together for me was absolutely incredible.

our engagement day, spring 2016


There are so many reasons that I love Anthony. He has a deep love for God and others, integrity, passion, kindness, wisdom, work ethic and he is truly my best friend. He is everything that I asked God for in a husband. I don’t have to ask for his support because he volunteers it. I don’t have to ask for his prayers because he prays for me daily. I don’t have to ask him to honor me because he does it without thinking. I don’t have to wonder if he loves God because his life reflects that he does. Also, he loves my ugly parts and he has shown me that he is here for not only my good days, but my bad ones as well. There are so many things that make him who he is that other people won’t understand, but I thank God that He has given me the ability to understand him and he the ability to understand me. Although I know that we will grow and change as we become older, my prayer for our marriage is that we truly become one, not just with each other, but that we would become one with Christ. Just a few weeks into our engagement, we have already seen how important it will be to cleave to each other as we cleave to Christ. Many things will try to attack, but the God who brought us into each other’s lives will be the same God who holds us together. Our prayer for our marriage is that God would allow others to see the love He has for His church, the beauty in doing things His way through our relationship and that love TRULY wins. 

our engagement day, spring 2016


If you have followed my blog for a while, you see that I am experiencing incredible love and joy, but you also know that I have experienced incredible pain. If you don’t think I’m telling the truth, scroll through the archives and check out some of my posts around 2012-2013 like this one or this one. My life is not perfect and I have certainly not been perfect. But God has redeemed my painful situations and so many of my life’s deserts have become rivers of joy. He has changed situations while changing me and helping me become a better woman. My prayer for everyone who hopes to experiences life oneness with someone, is to not allow your past to make you worse. Don’t become jaded and hopeless; find joy in Jesus. Now that I am engaged, I can truly say that it is amazing, but so was being in a relationship and so was singleness. Every season is what you make it. Paul truly hits this on the head when he says, “…for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” In every situation and season, you can be joyful if you allow Jesus to be the center of your world. I encourage you to seek joy, contend for faith and fight for contentment. They are yours for the taking. 🙂

Thanks for reading, 

Brittany 

life after God takes away

I will open rivers in high places, and fountains in the midst of the valleys: I will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water. – Isaiah 41:18 KJV

Two years and one week ago, I wrote a blog post called, “When God Takes Away.” When I wrote this, I was coming out of a dark season in my life following a difficult breakup. When referring to the breakup in previous blog posts, I shared that I was deeply hurt, but I never conveyed how hurt. Continue reading “life after God takes away”

faithful is He: Jeida’s story

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! -Ecclesiastes‬ ‭4‬:‭9-10‬ ESV

Friendship is one of God’s greatest gifts. In a dog-eat-dog world, it is a blessing to have people who genuinely love you. I believe, however, that friendship has many levels. My friendship with Jeida is on a special level though: Jeida is my Person.

Continue reading “faithful is He: Jeida’s story”

Verbal Valentines: The Power Love Holds

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. – Ephesians 4:2 NIV

Dear friends,

I hope that you are well. Thank you for following my blog despite my extreme blogging hiatus. My first year of teaching has changed my lifestyle in ways I could not have predicted and unfortunately, I have not made much time to write. As we work through spring semester, I am working on learning to balance my life and this is one example of my efforts.

Continue reading “Verbal Valentines: The Power Love Holds”